I love this little man beyond what I ever could imagine.
I am one of the happiest Gals around, you all know that. I have a great man, heaps of gorgeous girls to love, a solid guy you'd want to marry your daughter, son in law and of course this little man above. This is my family, these are the people that in my mantra I have to protect, look out for, fix things up for, and most of all love unconditionally.
I give life a punch every day, with a smile on my face, a song on my lips and with an open heart. But just lately a shadow is following me in my footsteps, a quite, after dark monster that is lurking around this beautiful city that I proudly call home.
Now, I promised myself when I began this blog that I would only post happy stories about the passions in my life, Rowantree Designs, my gorgeous grandson, Rowan and of course of late, keeping you posted on the makeover of the fibro beach house. Today my heart is heavy, my happiness bubble has burst, I am finding it hard to swallow, I'm looking after Rowan today and every time I look at him, my eyes fill with tears.
Last night I worked until the wee hours of this morning, listening to the smokey voiced, late night jocks on the radio, falling into a rather melodic trance, then all of a sudden being hurled back into reality by the regular news broadcasts of more drive by shootings in Sydney. Every week it's the same news. Bad news. What is happening to our community? Who are these people? We all know why! Who is going to stop this? How dare these people run amuck and create havoc in our neighbourhoods. We deserve to feel safe. Our children have a right to innocence! I have lived in a time of safety and freedom, I have played in the streets, walked home from school with not a care in the world. It saddens me to think about the cruel obstacles that will fall in the path of our community in time to come, and it breaks my heart to think about the challenge we all have ahead of us to keep our family's safe in our community. I can't fix this alone, I can't spend each day worrying about good guys and bad guys, I must go to work, shop, cook and go about my life's business, which leads me to ponder if I am weak and gutless? For my family's sack I have to pop back into my happiness bubble so when they all come home from work, and look to me for a smile, a hug and a kiss I am right there, the rock, the mum, the lover of life. The silent protector.
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It is so scary to think any harm could come to those we love. This world is not what it used to be. As a child I would ride my bike from the finish of school roll dinner time, out on the local streets, not a care in the world. A manhole could be called a manhole without people getting up in arms about PC terms. So many changes, so much darkness. I feel your sorrow and I can only say that it is people like you, with your joy, love and happiness that will make this world a better place and keep darkness away. X
ReplyDeleteHi Katrina, thank you for your comment. Mydaghter range me today and told me she thought my blog was a little dark and intense, not your usual mum. I told her that's how I feel about the world today. Lucky I am back in the bubble!
ReplyDeleteA sad post, but also very poignant. I am always shocked at what human beings can do to each other. I do love Rowan in his vest, it looks so dashing on him.
ReplyDeleteOh Roberta, it's awful, sometimes we turn the radio off, we no longer have a tv, as it can get us both quite down. I hope you feel a little better now. There is far more good out there, we just need to be aware. Sometimes if your heart is heavy it feels better to tell others, I'd rather you let us know, than you keep it internalised. Xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Hazel, I am no longer listening to the radio whilst I work at night, I listen to some of my old CD's.xx I usually don't have a winge, but this town is getting me down. There will come a time for us when we will make the move to a life less stressful near the beach...oneday.
DeleteWe ditched our TV a while ago... There is nothing new under the sun, but when it emerges into our little sphere, well, it's understandable to take it personally. I agree. I too walked home safely from school many times. The thought of letting my kids do the same now isn't a comforting feeling. Stay strong - but remember to let other's be strong for you when you feel down too.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Rowan is adorable!!!